I’m here for you…

I can’t tell you how many people have said those words to me. “I’m here for you.” I don’t think some people understand what they are promising… Or maybe I am just expecting too much. The hard part about trying to have friendships when you are single and 30 is that most people have significant others and children. I always feel bad interrupting their lives just because I am feeling lonely and pathetic.

I think some people assume that they can claim best friend status because they like every picture on Instagram and comment on every Facebook post. In my opinion its the ones who show up at your door when you are going through things.

I just miss having that best friend…that person that knew you inside out…that person who got in trouble with you…and protected you from hurt. I have been raised to be nomadic though. I went to two elementary schools, two junior high schools, and would have had to go to two high schools except I fought to stay at the same one. After high school I was booted to another state to live with my father. Since then I have switched states two more times just trying to find home. I have moved on average two times a year since I was 19.

I watch everyone around me, especially within my family, move on and have lives. But I can’t seem to hold on to anyone or anything. I don’t think that I am horrible to be around, but as I am the last one in my family not married, or almost married. Hell I don’t even have the kind of boyfriend that will come home with me for Christmas. But that is a story for another day.

If you had asked me when I was 16 where I thought I would be by now… Well it wouldn’t look anything like my current situation. I thought I would have finished college, had a great job, found a husband, had some kids… But I have none of that. I am not even close.

I don’t want to settle…but I don’t want to be alone either…


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