My first boyfreind…

Now…if we are being technical, my first boyfriend was a kid named Chase in first grade. He was a sweetheart from what I remember. But he is not who I consider my first real boyfriend… Jason was my first real boyfriend…and he happened by accident.

It was my freshman year of high school and I was delightfully awkward…I didn’t know how to wear makeup or do my hair and my fashion sense was what you would expect of any tomboy. I have also never had much confidence as I have always been considered plus size growing up. Homecoming was rolling around and while I had been to a dance before, the ones in junior high did not seem as monumental as this one. To my surprise, a kid named Nick in my biology class asked me to go the dance with him…Don’t worry I will get to Jason in a second… He was nice and attractive so I said yes!

I know this might be hard to picture…but this was before cell phones were as common as shoes. We agreed to meet at the dance after the football game. I was in line waiting to get in, and 45 minutes later there was still no sign of him. My some magical force of the universe another boy approached me in line and asked me to be his date. This was Jason and I said yes. He was a tall red head and very attractive as well. After we got into the dance Nick showed up and saw me with my new date. I felt so bad, but at this point, I would have been waiting an hour and a half. You snooze you lose buddy!

Jason was probably the cutest and most innocent relationship I have ever had. We had our first date at the movies with my whole family! I was so nervous that I could barely eat. He still stuck around though. Then he promptly invited me to his house for dinner. What I didn’t know is that more than his immediate family would be there, and this made me more nervous than I typically get meeting the parents. Once I was there I think he sensed how anxious I was and offered to take me on a walk. I obviously said yes.

Outside it was overcast, but the moon was shining brightly through a hole in the clouds. I was nice and cool outside. We walked and talked. We came across a rose bush with white roses. Since it was night time they weren’t in bloom, but he picked one for me anyways. It did begin to rain so we ran back to his house. When we got to the doorstep he stopped me. Now I know I have technically kissed another person, but not in the relationship type scenario. He looked me in the eyes and I knew what was going to happen.

I dropped my eyes to the ground as I was overcome with shyness. He placed his finger under my chin and gently lifted my head to his. He stepped in close to me…so close I could feel the heat from his body. The entire surface of my skin seemed to tingle under his touch. Then…his lips pressed against mine. It was a sweet kiss at first, and while we did not make out the intensity of the kiss grew. I didn’t know it was possible to be gentle and firm at the same time until that kiss. As our kiss deepened I could feel it deep inside me, awakening parts of me I had only felt one one-hundredth of before. Aww, sweet hormones.

I was left somewhat speechless the rest of the night. When I got home the phone rang at about the same time I came in the door. It was Jason. He could barely get a sentence out. In fact, the first thing he said after hello was “Wow.” After our verbal frenzy subsided I went to sleep with my lips still burning for his. I couldn’t wait to kiss him again.

The next most vivid memory I have of him is when we took my little brother trick or treating. Jason was a skeleton…with a full face of black and white makeup and all. I didn’t dress up that year…I am not sure why since my favorite holiday is Halloween…but I didn’t. I think I even joked about being Buffy the Vampire Slayer since I was in normal clothes. That night we took my brother out for a few hours. When we were done we stole some time for ourselves. As I walked by a wall in our complex I was suddenly pulled behind it. He pressed me up against the wall and my insides lit on fire. He kissed me hard, his makeup came off all over me, but I didn’t care. In that moment I needed him more than air.

It took everything in me to push him away so we could go home. I already knew the face makeup was going to be a dead give away that something went down. Oddly enough I don’t remember getting into any kind of trouble, or even a talk of any kind. The memory of that night still gets me all hot and bothered.

I grew up spending a lot of time alone after school. I knew what time my parents would get home, so I knew just how long I had to break the rules. At the ripe age of 14, I snuck my first boyfriend over. That was the first time I made it to second base. We ended up in a heavy make out session. I was straddling him and breathing heavy between kisses. The heat of his breath against my skin was more than I could handle. Then so suddenly I thought I had done something wrong, he cupped my face in his hands and stared at me for only a moment. I was trying to focus on catching my breath but then his hands fell to my waist. Slowly, as if he was asking for permission he slid his hands under my shirt and trailed his fingertips against my skin.

He slowly reached for my bra and unclasped it. I was going crazy inside. I could barely keep myself from going kissing him, but I did not want to distract him or cause him to think I wanted him to stop. neither of us was suave enough to even try taking my bra off from under my shirt. so he slid his hands across my skin from my back to my stomach. He inched up slowly as if to savor every second of his exploration. Then I exploded inside as he cupped my breasts and claimed my mouth for another intense kiss. I could have stayed there like that forever, being fondled and kissed so passionately.

I think he could have had me then if he would have tried. I had no wheel power in his arms.  And as every bit of self-control I had melted away, my stepfather came home. I barely got Jason out the front door before my stepfather came in the back door. I went to my room and just laid there, my whole body aching for his.

Sadly, I would not get to explore with him much more. He seemed incapable of being away from me. I could not do the clingy boyfriend thing, so I dumped him. I don’t remember actually being sad when I dumped him, but I figured that it’s okay since he turned out to be gay later in life. And I would later move on to others in my life.

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