Freshman Year…

So as not too many exciting things happened to me during certain years of high school I thought I might quickly chronicle these years for my life.

After Jason… Remember that Nick guy… Well, he became a little mini stalker of mine…nothing too crazy, but he would show up outside of every single one of my classes. I eventually told someone I had befriended from a club I had joined and he took care of him…by this I mean he got a couple giant football players to talk to him. I only later found out that this senior had a thing for me.

And so the Joe John debacle began. Apparently, there were two seniors that year that tried to win my affection. Joe beat John to the punch. I wasn’t really interested in John anyways. But boy, did Joe mess up. We went to see Cast Away on our first date…He brought a buffer. His friend Robert tagged along…That was the most awkward thing ever. Needless to say, that ended shortly. The best part about this fight for my affection is they will still randomly fight on my Facebook. It is not at all a serious matter, in fact, I find it highly amusing.

I am so sad that I cannot share this next adventure’s name with you. It is too unique and would provide you a very easy way to figure me out. He had one of those two part names like Mary Jane or Marie Anne. I shall only use his first name…Matt #1 (I may have dated a few Matt’s…so they will be numbered). Matt #1 was in that same club I found my previous men. I mean…at least we started with something in common. I don’t think Matt #1 was very committed though.

Matt #1 also happened to be friends with some of the people from a sports team I was on, so we ended up with each other quite a bit. I was very interested in him…He may have looked like the lead singer of Papa Roach, and I definitely have a thing for him to this day. I wish there was some epic story for this one, but he was a dud. He was a horrible kisser, and not too brainy at the time…Maybe it was his immaturity that shadowed any intelligence he had. Whatever the case…It was a turn-off.

I almost forgot about Tim. I may have dated a lot more than I realized in my freshman year! I met him after becoming friends with a girl in my math class. I went to church with her, and no…my skin did not burn. Their church, however, was very odd. Tim was a very sweet guy. His friend and I were actually in the Christian club together at school. One night we were hanging out and we ended up in a pool. We kissed and fondled each other, but there was absolutely no electricity. He was also very needy and jealous and those are definitely non-negotiable traits for me. He got dumped.

Honorable mention… Now, this was a girl and not someone that I dated, but she had a huge impact on the rest of my time in high school. Her name was Abbie. This “nice person” made a mistake that made my life better and hers worse. She and I really bonded and I could even tell you we were best friends for a hot minute…but jealousy can be a hell of an inner demon.

We happened to be in two plays our freshman year. I think her role made her a bit sensitive during the second play. She went from being one of the leads to a prop person. One night during a live show she was too busy flirting with the lighting guy and missed her cue. Since I was there I took her prop on stage. When I came back off stage she was waiting in the wings and decided to pick a fight with me.

Please note that I am a size 13, 5’3″, and very strong. She was a double zero, 4’9″, tiny little girl. She came up to me and yelled, “That was my tree you bitch,” and proceeded to try and punch me. I simply turned to the side and walked away. She was kicked out of that club forever, and I planted my roots.

I promise if you stick with me, junior year gets much more exciting…

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